Ossus

It’s peaceful up here in space, Jaina thinks as she hikes her StealthX further from the planet. She grins when she looks out of the viewport, seeing only the greens and tans of Ossus contrast against the darkness of space. No view of the Jedi academy anymore; she’s too far out.

She can’t feel any of the strike team members, either. Not Tesar or Lowie, who she had spent the morning with until abruptly leaving the dining hall when the two aliens’ meal of raw meat started to look too appetizing. Kriffing mind meld after effects. But right now, she can’t sense them or anyone. She’s all alone, except for the part of her that belongs to Jacen. But that was normal. That had always been there.

Least of all, she can’t feel Zekk anymore. She had lost all sense of his thoughts the moment she stepped foot out of Milliways, winding up back inside the main building of the Jedi praxeum. It had been freeing. It had given her a chance to escape her companion, an opportunity to try and think all this out herself.

Jaina chuckles to herself as she recalls just how much thinking she did. It had been night on Ossus too, when she had returned. So she had gone back to the Solo residence, collapsing on the bed in her room, falling asleep quicker than she ever would have thought. So much for any serious thought.

She pulls up on the yoke of the X-wing, causing her ship to move further from the planet. Sneaky relays some message, and Jaina glances down at the computer screen.

“Nothing to worry about,” she tells her droid as she prepares to bring the snubfighter into a spin.

She doesn’t have to think up here, but she knows she should. Think on Jag, on Zekk. On being a Jedi and a Joiner. Back down there, on the planet below, she knows what awaits her. More tests with Cilghal, more concerned looks, messages telling her she can’t leave planet yet. Not until they figure out just how permanent her ‘condition’ is.

Being in Milliways for the past couple weeks allowed her to forget just how restless she was getting on Ossus. Being back here, however, it is a different story. She knows that she’d be fine – maintaining a Jedi’s neutrality and a Jedi’s role on any mission they sent her on. So why wouldn’t Uncle Luke or Aunt Mara just listen?

Sometimes she doubts they’ll ever trust her again.

Shaking her head, Jaina pulls out of the spin, coasting along the circumference of the planet. It’s been a long day, and truth be told, she’s missing Zekk. The silence, the peacefulness is starting to get to her. She wants to be able to feel that connection with her friend again. She’s started to depend on it.

As she starts to head back towards planetside, Jaina’s mind flashes to the kiss last night. She knows why he had done it – an attempt to get her thoughts off of self pity. It had worked, too well. She had actually enjoyed it, liked it. Liked kissing someone she once thought of as a brother. Liked kissing someone who wasn’t Jag.

Jaina bites her lip, frowning a bit as she clicks to herself. She shouldn’t have liked it. She loves Jag. She knows it, Zekk knows it. But sometimes, like last night, it feels like Zekk’s emotions get the better of her. Like she could love him, given the time. She doesn’t know what to do. Jaina doesn’t like feeling so helpless in the matter.

Apparently, her clicks are loud enough that Sneaky picks up on them, relaying a message on the screen in question that snaps Jaina out of her contemplations.

“Everything’s fine,” Jaina retorts through gritted teeth. Vaping droid needs to mind its own business.

Minutes later, after Jaina gives up on trying to figure anything else out, she begins her descent back to the academy’s hanger bay, ending in another smooth landing for the pilot. The hatch opens, and she uses the Force to assist her in jumping from the StealthX to the platform, rather than waiting for a ladder. Glancing at her chronometer, she knows she’s supposed to be meeting Cilghal and the other Jedi Joiners soon. She takes off her helmet, floating it up to lie in the X-wing’s seat.

Then, undoing her braid as she walks, Jaina heads back inside the academy. But it’s not to meet with the Mon Calamarian Jedi, and not to go to the comm room to send Jag that message she so desperately wants to send. Instead, she’s off to find her way back to Milliways, and to apologize to Zekk for running from him last night.

And from there, who knows. Jaina’s decided that she’ll just figure things out as she goes.